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So. The past nine months I’ve spent minimally engaged with the Internet. These past few weeks, I’ve gotten back into it to some degree. This process has sharpened a lot of observations of which I was nebulously conscious previously.

Basically, the Internet I interact with has developed a really unpleasant culture. It took nine months of interacting primarily with the culture at my school, which is a very different one (with its own particular unpleasantnesses, of course), to confirm what I’d begun to suspect years ago.

Here are the things I noticed: on the Internet, everything goes on record (with all the attendant temptations of anxiety and uncharitability). Fandom is HUGE, the entertainment we consume dwarfing almost all other topics. We demand that others summon up outrage multiple times a day. Negative responses are overwhelmingly the default (yes, every negative response and call for outrage is given a plausible justification, but they are everywhere). The desire for attention here is remarkably naked, and the content too often accordingly self-absorbed. And there’s a lot of indiscriminate sharing of eroticism without considering whether that’s a good thing for everyone.

All of this makes for a seriously less-than-excellent environment.

I find myself tempted to use that tired line “my friends are amazing people, it’s the big bad Internet.” But here’s the truth: as amazing as so many of you are, each and every one of us contributes in a tiny way to the construction of this unpleasant society, by participating in certain ways and expressing certain things. Self included–I’ve been a largely wholehearted participant until recently. I know that these unpleasant behaviours are not all there is to any of us. But when this is what comes through, regularly, it becomes all any of us can see. Everything online is not offensive. But enough of what all of us post is. I am worn down by it. I didn’t realize just how worn down I’d become until I spent some time away, and discovered that it’s possible to engage in social interactions without having to harden myself.

What’s the conclusion? I don’t know. I can’t pretend any more that I’m okay with the Internet that we, collectively, have created, and I need to do some serious thinking about that. Why does it seem to work for us? What is our behavior getting us? What does all of this imply for me as a participant? As a Christian? I still don’t know those answers. As I spend the next year finishing up my degree and preparing to get back to consistent creativity and blogging, I suspect this is going to be much on my mind. I’d like to talk about it if I can. I’d appreciate your thoughts, too.

Edit: In case anyone is curious, there’s also a discussion ongoing on the LJ version of this post.